Have you ever wondered why you want children? I once asked around me and most ladies are the first to answer: 'Yes, uhm ... It just seems delicious'. Not very convincing yet, so that's why I thought: in this blog, let's take a moment to reflect on our personal desire for children. Because those little ones who (hopefully) hopping around at home deserve more than 'yes uhm ... It just seems delicious'. And besides this desire to have children, I also think about the reasons for not wanting to have children.
I did not want children at all
I have to confess something, namely I wanted to be 'old', and I mean to something 5 years ago, no children at all. In fact, I did not like children at all. When I saw a baby or a small child running, I ignored it completely. I really had nothing with it. The thoughts of children did not attract me at all. Then I could no longer do my own thing. Like accidentally ending up on the terrace in the afternoon until late at night. Or sleep late in the morning and watch series all day long. In addition, I did not want to be pregnant at all. "Then you can not drink for 9 months!" I can still hear myself saying it.
You guessed it I think: I have had a very long student time. And after my student days I remained a party animal. No child fits that. I kept sipping too much in the pub and besides that I did not know what I wanted to do with my life, I did not have a friend and I lived in a sort of student house together with a friend of mine. Maybe not surprising that my desire to have children was very far away.
Much to the annoyance of my parents who had been jumping for years for a new grandchild. "Wait until you get a relationship," my mother always said. 'Then you talk differently'. And you know what? She was right. Because as soon as I got a serious relationship with my current husband, moved in with him and knew what I wanted in my life ... I wanted children. And for the following reasons.
Reasons to want children
These are the reasons to want children that I can think of myself. Additions are more than welcome!
- Children can enrich my life. It is a fantastic addition
- It is uncommon to have 'something' that is yours and your partner
- Very old-fashioned, but you have 'someone' who continues your family name. And somewhere I have the feeling that I continue to live a bit through my children when I am no longer there.
- You have put some people on earth who have to take care of you when you are old. Super convenient.
- You will experience new things that you would otherwise never experience if you do not have children. I do not want to miss that!
- And finally that love ... That love you can feel for such a little creature. That seems fantastic to me and is actually the most important reason for wanting to have children.
These are all reasons why we do want children. Yet there have been enough couples in recent years who consciously choose not to take children. And I think that we can also stand by that. There are many people (with children) who do not understand that at all. In order to encourage mutual understanding, I therefore have listed the most common reasons for not wanting to have children.
Reasons not to want children
- Children cost a lot of money.
- You have much less free time.
- It is harder to make a big career (not impossible, but more difficult).
- You have not had such a nice childhood yourself.
- The world is overcrowded enough already.
- There is no biological clock that is ticking. The need is simply not there.
- Not unimportant: you have not found a suitable partner.
- You have found a suitable partner too late and you find yourself too old now.
- You have nothing with children.
- Your freedom is very limited.