According to Els Rozenbroek and Dorine Hermans, today's parents are too sweet for their children. It almost looks like parents are doing their best to make sure that their children are having a good time. But parents have to be the boss and are allowed to perform a bit harder. In their book Give that child a drink of gin - the writers go back to the way they were brought up in the old days. Read on if you want to know more about this book with parenting advice!
Modern education is too weak
Modern parents look too much at the wishes of their child and forget to set clear boundaries. Here children are annoyed. According to Rozenbroek and Hermans, the current way of upbringing comes through the pill. We now consciously choose children. And if you finally have that little miracle, we want to make sure that the child likes it.
This was different for the beginning of the sixties. Then there was no pill and women sometimes became pregnant without them necessarily waiting for it. Now women consciously stop taking the pill and then become consciously pregnant. They choose a child.
According to Rozenbroek and Hermans, this decision is actually too big. "You only start such a gigantic project if you feel that you are having fun. For example, parents are forced into the role of hosts and hostesses who have invited their children to a party. If the guests do not enjoy themselves amusingly, the parents have failed. "
Doubts about the upbringing
Educating is very exciting and nowadays we are very busy with it. Am I doing well? Am I not too strict? What would others think if I ignore my child? Am I too hard sometimes? The social control over upbringing now seems bigger than ever, so parents feel that they should not be too strict or too harsh because they are otherwise skewed. That's why the velvet gloves are on. It seems that not only the parents deal with their children differently, including the current ones parenting advice are smoother than in the 60s. For example, you have the 'no-no-flow' a current where families never use the word 'no'.
Guilt creates fewer limits
Another cause of the fact that many parents are mild in their upbringing is the stress and hustle and bustle of contemporary existence. Modern parents both work. Or the parents are divorced and both work. This ensures that there is little time to raise the children at home. When the parents return home after a day of work, they feel guilty because they are so far away. They try to make up for this by just condemning everything or spoiling their children. Many works also cause fatigue and a tired parent is less able to set clear boundaries. That costs too much energy.
How it should be done
Here are some tips that Dorine Hermans and Els Rozenbroek give in their book with parenting advice "Give that child a drink of gin" and advice they have presented to the readers of Kek Mama:
- Do you have a spicy toddler who is already the boss at home? That is probably because you often consult with your child as a mother. If you do not consult and always set clear boundaries, children automatically put less energy into resistance. After all, they know that they will not get away with it anyway.
- Do not negotiate with a toddler. If your toddler asks: 'why is it not allowed' then the correct answer is 'because I say'.
- Is your baby crying all night and are you sure that nothing is wrong? Insert ear plugs.
- Is your child crying for hours at a time and are you sure that nothing is wrong? Ignore him.
About the writers of Give that child a sip of gin
Dorine Hermans is 58 years old and Els Rozenbroek is 61 years old. Both born before the sixties. Together they give answers to questions from parents in their column 'Ask the cheerful parent toddlers Els and Do' in the magazine Kek Mama. They admit that modern educators would reject some of their answers. But that does not matter to them. Dorine Hermans has two children and is a historian. Els Rozenbroek has 1 child and is a columnist and magazine maker.
To order? Give that child a sip of gin, a book with educational advice
Are you curious about the book 'Give that child a drink of gin'? You can order the book at bol.com. The book is hilarious with a thick core of confronting truth: maybe we have become too soft.
Is your child crying a lot, is your child the boss at home, do you have trouble setting limits or are you curious about a way of upbringing that is a combination of the past and the present? Then this book is definitely for you! For the price you do not have to leave it, the book is only 15 euros! Nice to get or give a present! View the inside copy here.