Ariënne writes: The power of loss

Below is the emotional story of Ariënne Post. She talks about her miscarriages and her grief. Read how she deals with this loss.

All alarm bells went off. The neck fold was much too thick. And later the nose bone was also absent. What a nice ultrasound (and oh yes, the combination test) should have been, changed our pregnancy into a nightmare. An experience that became the turning point in my life.

We were married nearly a year earlier. I came back pregnant from honeymoon, but that quickly went wrong. Something that I had never taken into account, because my mother had four children without problems. The fact that I could get a miscarriage simply did not occur to me.

A few months later I became pregnant again. Van Teuntje. From the amniocentesis, which followed his neck fold measurement, it turned out that he was not in order. We were faced with an inhuman choice. Just before the 16 weeks we broke off the pregnancy. He fit my hand. So small. So innocent.

It changed the course of my life forever. Because this loss had to have meaning.

It turned everything upside down and nothing worked anymore. In the year that followed, I changed jobs, home and city. At that time I had a direct line with 'above', at least that's how it felt. I found comfort in rainbows (I never saw so much!) And held on to the song 'Shine bright like a diamond'. It was nice to be in nature, where loss and death are so naturally part of life. What dies off makes room for something new. Those kinds of insights gave me a different perspective.

In my new job I got a training with the team. There the first quarter fell. Because what that trainer was doing, that's what I wanted! Two years later it was time to give space. My contract was not renewed and I felt: I must seize this opportunity.

Sterretjesveld in Haarlem

In that process I finally dared to give in to my deepest wish: coaching people with animals and nature. This became concrete when I got my first horse coach session. It was about the loss of Teuntje. And I decided to give space to my dreams. That is how the initiative for one started Sterretjesveld in Haarlem. Intended to give parents who experience the same a place to go and to commemorate their child.

Now I can say that the loss is a great source of inspiration. It sounds crazy, but I also feel gratitude. It has given me the strength to enter my own path. It gives meaning to what I do.

Have you also faced this difficult choice and would you like to share your story with us? Tell us and share your sadness, joy and experience.

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