Just after 38 weeks of pregnancy my daughter died

It will only happen to you. It happened to this father who lost his daughter when his wife was a little over 38 weeks pregnant. In this experience blog he tells his emotional story about what happened to him and his wife.

'The last visit to the gynecologist was only 2 days before my daughter died. Everything was in order. The gynecologist told us to prepare ourselves for the birth, because it could happen. We had already put everything in order at home and we were looking forward to the arrival of our daughter.

In the middle of the night my wife woke me up anxiously. She indicated that she had not felt our daughter move for a few hours. I reassured her, after all we had felt her move yesterday. Still, I took care to use the doppler (device to listen to the heart of your unborn baby), as I had done thousands of times before. I could normally hear the heart beat within a few seconds, but this time I did not hear anything. After searching for a few minutes, I urgently told my wife to dress herself so that we could go to the hospital.

It felt so unreal


In the hospital she told us what we already knew: my daughter had died. The night before we went to bed with happy expectations and we were looking forward to the arrival of our daughter. This morning all our dreams were crushed.

It felt so unreal. We sat in the hospital at 4.00 in the morning and tried to realize everything. What had just happened had to sink in. We called our parents and the godfather and godmother of our daughter to inform them.

My wife had to give birth naturally. Only she would not feel happiness now when she could take her baby in her arms. My wife was very heavy. Her delivery lasted 24 hours and she did not respond well to the medication, which meant her epidural had been worked out halfway through the delivery. It took 3 hours for this to be discovered and she got a new one. In the meantime, she lost a lot of blood, which caused me to fear that, in addition to my daughter, I would also lose my wife. It was terrible to see that my wife had all this pain, without the joy of a healthy and healthy baby.

We got to see our daughter, for which we are very grateful. We could look at her, touch her, hold and take pictures.

After the birth we were asked if we wanted to do an autopsy and we agreed. They could not find anything. Nothing that could be a cause for the death of my daughter just before she could have made her first entry into this world. It is still not clear to us. My wife did everything as it should during pregnancy. She did not drink alcohol, did not use drugs or medicines and ate only healthy.

Sometimes it seems very normal: getting pregnant and having a baby. When we are in the first 3 months, everyone assumes that things are going well and you should only serve those last months. After this is the birth and you can go home with a beautiful little baby. In reality it is something else. In any case: with us. We came home empty-handed. We did not expect this at all, we had not lived here for 9 months. My wife and I will never know how our daughter laughs or cries.

I sometimes hear people complaining about their newborn babies. They complain about sleep deprivation, crying at night and getting up early to feed the baby. They complain about dirty diapers and vomiting. I would love to give everything to have these experiences. I am sure I would never complain when we have our next baby. I would be grateful if she cries because I know that she breathes and lives. I would happily praise myself every time I had to change a diaper because I knew she was eating well and was healthy. It would not interest me at all if she puked over me at the most impractical moment.

If you read this and you have children, cherish them, take care of them because you are the lucky ones who have a baby who lives and is healthy. '

Do you share this sadness or have you experienced the same and would you like to share this with others? Tell us your story and send it to redactie (@) mtnmedia.nl
Your experience is then placed in the experience blog of so pregnant.

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