Are you 14 years and pregnant? Then you are faced with a very difficult situation. After all, you have to tell your parents, because in the long run a pregnancy is rather difficult to hide. Informing your parents sounds much easier than it seems. Because getting pregnant at the age of 14 does not only mean that your whole life and that of your parents will be turned upside down. It also means that you have had sex and that is perhaps the worst. Your parents probably would not have wanted that for their, still, little girl.
Are you 14 and pregnant, do you know someone in this situation or would you like to give your opinion or advice on how this shocking news can be told? Let us know! In this blog we give some tips on how to tell your parents that you will become a teenage mother.
Your parents love you anyway
Always keep in mind that your parents love you unconditionally. Even if you're going to bring them news where they get pretty upset, angry or sad, they'll love you. It therefore makes no sense to hide it for a long time because you are afraid of the reaction of your parents.
The longer you keep silent, the more you get entangled in lies and that will make it all worse. In addition, there are checks and visits to the midwife to ensure that you and your baby stay healthy. Your parents can support you in this, after all: they have already experienced it themselves!
Tips to tell your parents
Unfortunately, there is not one good way to bring your parents the news that you are 14 and pregnant. But you can take into account the following points:
Choose the right moment:
Tell your parents in a quiet time and not when your mother is about to go to work. Try to engage the conversation with both parents and not separately. If this is difficult, you can plan a suitable time together with your parents.
Do not turn around:
Tell your parents immediately that you have a problem where you need their help and advice. Then do not turn around it, they will think of the most bad things and that only causes unrest. Also, do not ask in advance whether your parents do not want to get angry. This can actually work wrong!
Stay calm and keep it to the facts:
Do not leave any information and tell all the facts. So when you last had a period of time, whether you did a pregnancy test and when and who you told it so far.
- Who is the father? Are you still together? Does he know about your pregnancy and does he want to be involved?
- How are you going to financially support this baby?
- How will you soon combine school with the education of your baby?
- In the longer term: how will you combine your studies with your child?
The book: Courageous mothers & Brave daughters is about teenage motherhood and the unconditional love between mother and daughter!
Try to see the side of your parents
Not only are you in a difficult situation, your parents too. It is important to realize that your parents can feel all kinds of emotions the moment they discover that you are pregnant at the age of 14. For example, they find themselves too young to be grandfather and grandmother. In addition, they probably still see you as their little girl. It can also happen that your parents blame themselves and start to wonder if they have done something wrong. Every person responds in a different way.
For example, your mother may try to look at the positive side while your father is blazing. This does not mean that the one loves you more than the other, they just deal with the news differently. Give your parents the space to respond from their emotions and try to keep you aloof. Making a quarrel is the last thing you want.
Good reviews and no more fuss with a light stripe or not. This test even indicates how many weeks you are pregnant!
Moving to practical matters
If the first emotions of anger, sadness, disappointment or guilt are quiet, your parents will consider the other questions: how are you going to finish your school and how should they take care of your child? As a 14 year old you are not able to bear the financial burden of your child, this will come down to your parents. In addition, there must be room for your child. So do not be surprised if your parents are going to count. Maybe they should work longer now or come up with a plan to get more money.
What questions can you expect?
A good preparation can also help to better communicate the news that you are 14 years and pregnant. This means that you have to have a good answer to the questions your parents (most likely) will ask:
Maybe you do not know an answer to these questions yet and that is not bad at all. You can then indicate that you do not know yet, but that you want to think about this together with your parents in order to come to a good solution.
14 years and pregnant: it is your child
There is a chance that your parents will try to persuade you to have your child adopted or aborted. This can of course be an option and also try to think about it. But if you absolutely do not want this, always remember that it is your body, your baby and your life. You ultimately decide what you are going to do and you must do what is right for you. In most cases, your parents will increase over time and accept that you are 14 and pregnant.