How much age difference is there between your children? And would you rather have seen a change in that or is it okay? That is a question that many future mothers or mother of one child would like to ask. Because what is wisdom when you go for a second child. A small age difference so they can (hopefully) go up with each other? Or is a larger age difference of 2 or 3 years better because your oldest is more independent? Read more about this here age difference between your children.
Average age between first and second child
The average age between first and second child has increased more and more in recent years. If you thought it was a small age difference, then you are wrong. In 2009 the difference was 3.2 years (CBS) and that has not really changed much. On average, we are now between 2 and 3 years old. Best a reasonably large age difference!
Advantages and disadvantages small age difference
A small age difference of less than 1.5 years has advantages and disadvantages. The advantages are that the children differ little in age and as a result are usually better able to play and compete with each other. They are in the same school and maybe even together in the sports team and they have the same friends. With a small age difference, the rivalry is also less great.
Other advantages are that you get out of the diapers more quickly and are more ready for preschooler showers. There are, however, also disadvantages. Many mothers indicate that the first years are pretty spicy. When the age difference is small, you start with two children who are completely dependent on you and not independent.
Sleeping can become a drama because one person keeps the other person awake. Or you sit with two children who both have to take an afternoon nap at different times. In addition, make sure that you divide the attention between the youngest baby and the older child. It often happens that the eldest gets a lot less attention and because of this becomes somewhat jealous and starts to show annoying behavior.
Also read: Why mothers do not get anything done!
Great age difference between first and second child
The big advantage a larger age difference (three years and more) is that the oldest is more independent. They have also had full attention for 3 years and now they often want to do something more themselves. They will therefore become less jealous of the attention the youngest gets. Since the oldest is more independent and goes to school, you have more time to look after a new child.
Another big advantage is that as a mother you have had at least 2 years to recover from your first pregnancy. You have been able to work and participate in society again. Hopefully the pregnancy silos are all gone and you can start with a clean slate.
Disadvantages of a large age difference are, among other things, that the children can not play well with each other especially in the first years. You can not put them together properly for the TV because they are not on the same level in children's films and series. They will have other interests until puberty. As the age grows, the difference is less noticeable, but that may take some time.
From a practical point of view there are a few drawbacks: you have to start all over again. Again in the diapers, broken nights and a lot of worry for a helpless baby while you just got rid of it.
2 years age difference child
Experts indicate that 2 years age difference is perhaps the most ideal. The children are still together at school and after a few years they can get along well with each other and become mates. Another advantage is that mothers have had enough time to fully recover from the pregnancy.
The disadvantage of 2 years of age difference is that there can be more rivalry among the children. That has a bit to do with the developments of your oldest child by the time you come youngest. At the age of 2 to 3 years children can suffer from tantrums and quickly become jealous. This can cause some stress. Usually this is later on, especially if you try to deal with this properly. If the youngest is older, they can probably play well with each other.
How much age difference between your children is ideal?
How much age difference between your children is ideal is not immediately so to speak. It is very personal. Large age differences and small differences both have advantages and disadvantages. Some researchers indicate that an age difference of 2 years and 3 months is the most ideal. This means that there is 18 months between two pregnancies. The body of mother has had the chance to fully recover during that period. Other experts find an age difference between 2 and 3 years the best (almost the same).
But do you have to listen to an expert to determine what you want? I think it is very personal. Some mothers want a small age difference because they also had that with their brother or sister and others, therefore, a large age difference.
It is possible that your ovaries will rattle again if your baby is 9 months old, but you may not be ready for it until after 1.5 years. Probably the course of delivery also plays a role. If you had a difficult birth and difficult pregnancy, it is not strange that you wait a moment.
Finally, age can play a big role. If you start a little later with children, it may be better to keep the age difference between your children small because otherwise you are on the older side. The quality of your eggs does not improve as you get older!
So there are enough factors that play a role in determining the ideal age difference between your children. It is personal for everyone and you just have to look at your own situation!
How big is the age difference between your children?
Also read: 6 Reasons to want children!