Spiritual development toddler

The spiritual development of your toddler. How does it work? Your toddler not only grows in length, but also his spirit grows with him. His vocabulary is expanding by the day and he also increasingly discovers his 'own will'. Your toddler develops from a very dependent little person to an independent individual. And that can sometimes be accompanied by a lot of screams, conflicts and tantrums ...

Toddler puberty

The toddler puberty is a period in which your toddler goes through a certain development phase. During this period the own identity of your toddler arises, the self-awareness. It looks a bit like an ordinary puberty because this period can also be accompanied by strong emotions and strong conflicts. Your toddler no longer only does what you want, but wants to do everything in his own way. He learns that he can also do things, regardless of his parents. He now wants to do things himself, tackle, touch and try.

Rebellious phase

When your toddler has celebrated his first birthday, he faces a rebellious phase. He will soon get the word 'no' under control. A resistance struggle breaks again between his second and third birthday. Your toddler discovers his own will and independence. After his first birthday he is not yet aware of the consequences of his resistance, but after his second birthday this awareness is present.

Fight with yourself

He not only fights a battle with his parents, but also with himself. Because in fact he still wants to stay small (safe), but a natural urge 'forces' him to free himself from his parents. Actually, this is a very positive period. Your toddler is namely discovering what his position is in the family and beyond. In this period he learns that there are rules and limits and let's be honest, he can only learn the importance of these limits if he tries to exceed them. Of course it is sometimes very tiring to be a parent with such a cross toddler to go. Especially at times when you are tired or rushed. In addition to his upbringing, there are three building blocks that are decisive for the formation of his personality: character, temperament and environment.

Tips for dealing with your transverse toddler

Toddlers are well able to put your patience to the test. The 'danger' of shooting angrily out of your shoal is lurking, while getting angry does not make any sense at all. In fact, an angry reaction also has another negative effect on the cross-toddler toddler behavior. Afterwards you are surprised how that little male or female has succeeded (again) in luring you out of the tent. Did you know, by the way, that your toddler does not like it at all and that he himself is also saddened by his transgressive behavior? But sometimes he can not do anything else ...
We have tried to collect as many tips as possible that can keep you from an angry reaction. Do you have any more tips? Share them with our other visitors and send them to redactie@pennea.org.


Punishment is not wrong, but rewarding is better. Positive attention often works best. Your reaction is very important to him.
Use humor and be inventive. Sometimes a bit of distraction does wonders.
A toddler can not be rushed, keep this in mind. It is better to build in a spare time before you leave. This prevents you from becoming irritated and (unnecessarily) angry with him.


Set the limits constantly (toddlers do not learn by what you say to them, but by the experience they get). Now that your toddler is discovering his own will, it is important to set clear boundaries. Your toddler needs this because he prefers everything, but he can not yet judge what is right for him. You do not limit him by setting limits, you give him a safe feeling. Try to find a balance, because too strict rules are not intended. His health and safety is a good starting point for drafting the rules. You can be a little easier in safe and less important situations.

Be consistent

Be consistent (also execute threats). Your toddler benefits if you are consistent. It makes it clear and clear for him (predictable). He knows what is expected of him and what happens if he does not like it. If you are less consistent (sometimes find something good and punish the other time) your toddler will also become erratic.
As a punishment measure you can place your toddler in another room. This offers you the opportunity to recover. Do not try to get angry.

Reserve your 'no'

Reserve your 'no' only for really important situations. Let your toddler do as much as possible yourself. He wants this. It is important that he gets the space to experiment a bit. So he has the feeling that he also has a little influence on the situation. If you give your toddler confidence, his self-confidence grows. If your toddler gets something done, he will be super proud of himself. You can not make him happier if you give him a compliment.
Do not save your toddler, hitting is only a sign of impotence.

Sufficient incentive

In the first years a toddler learns more than in all subsequent years. He learns about reactions, feelings, language and how things work. Every child is born curious, this is the basis for learning new things. If you stimulate the thirst for knowledge, your toddler will want to learn actively and eagerly.


Encourage questions and always answer (keep your answer short and understandable).
Encourage the research, although it will often involve tampering, but toddlers learn from examinations.
Take your toddler to as many different environments as possible (theater, shopping malls, zoo, petting zoo, playground, museums, etc.).
Give him as many different experiences as possible (tinkering, reading, rocking, rocking, swimming, playing with chalk, drawing, table covering, et cetera.
Do not let your toddler watch too much TV and if he looks, you can better look with him so that you can occasionally give some explanations and ask questions.
Give him self-confidence!


You can not teach your toddler to use his imagination, but stimulate his natural talent for fantasy. If you provide the right environment and the right stuff, then there is sufficient stimulus. You can give the fantasy of your toddler an extra push by:
Pretend to be something or someone else. Give figures during their reading, their own voice.
Make a dress-up box. Let your toddler close his eyes and let him guess with which object you stroke his arm.

Help with small chores

You can also help your toddler. He will love it. There are enough jobs within the household where he can help. Do not expect a perfect result, of course, but your toddler can help with:
To clean up. Wash vegetables. Unpack the groceries and put them on the counter. Waste into the trash. Place empty cups / glasses on the counter. Vacuum cleaning (possibly with your own vacuum cleaner). Sweeping (possibly with your own sweeper). Put dirty laundry in the laundry basket. Drying (unbreakable stuff, his own cup for example). Fabrics and cleaning. Helping was hanging and folding. Ironing (with your own iron).


You have packed your things and your coat is already on. All you have to do is put your child in the car, and then you can leave! Just in time for that important appointment. You take your child's coat and ask the rhetorical question: 'Are you going with mom?' and you already bend over to put on his coat. But then your toddler says hard: "No!" Surprised you blink your eyes at this unexpected resistance. And while your toddler is staring at you defiantly, it slowly dawns on you: the No phase has begun.

Play together, share together

Toddlers can not really play together yet, they like to deal with another toddler but then play next to each other and not with each other. They will also imitate each other. That makes sharing so extra complicated. Because if your toddler sees the other playing with something, he wants it and will try to take it away. Your toddler can not yet empathize with the other, so the sorrow caused is nothing to him. It is only between three and four years that the feeling of empathy begins to develop slowly.

Learn to listen

Listening (and obeying) is very difficult for your toddler. Keep your sentences understandable, short and powerful. Your toddler will only (be able to) listen when he understands what you expect from him. Do not give too much information at once. Too much at once can confuse him and then he does not know and will not do anything.
Try to prevent your toddler from having too many temptations around him, or adjust your expectations accordingly. It becomes very difficult for him to listen carefully when, for example, he is playing concentrated with his favorite toys and you call him. You can not expect him to listen immediately. Or, setting up a box of sweets and asking him to stay off is of course also asking for trouble.


If you are far away, you better walk to him and make contact (for example, through a touch and eye contact).
Incidentally, your toddler thinks that the rules only apply if you are with him. So do not expect that if you leave the room, he will still follow the rules.

Right or left-handed

Your toddler can not decide which hand will become dominant. This is decided in his brain. When the left half of the brain becomes dominant, the child becomes right-handed and vise versa. Do not try to make a left-handed person right-handed. You risk any psychological consequences.

Video: The Spiritual Child: Educating the Head and the Heart - Lisa Miller

Leave Your Comment