Puberty can be a very intense period for some children. A time when they slowly grow into adults, try out new things, set themselves off against what was familiar and discover who they are and what they want. All this leads to drastic changes in life. That adolescent children often experience mood swings, does not make it any easier.
Puberty does not start for every child at exactly the same time. Girls in particular often start to pub sooner than boys, sometimes when they are 10 or 11 years old. At that moment they are usually still in elementary school. Physically everything changes, such as the growth of pubic and armpit hair, which brings a lot of uncertainty. Boys get the beard in the throat and ejaculations, girls get breasts and are first on their period. Many adolescents are ashamed of their changing appearance. In addition, not all children simultaneously puberty. In an age phase in which they want to be the same as classmates as much as possible and want to stand out as little as possible, the one already undergoes all sorts of changes, while the other still remains very 'child'.
An uncertain period
Emotional and mental changes also change a lot during puberty. Suddenly children will find other things important than before. They will make new connections, think more independently and seek their own way. Suddenly they are no longer children, but adolescents. Confusing, not only for others, but also for themselves. It is therefore not surprising that many adolescents do not feel comfortable in their own skin for a while, can respond with a cripple, can withdraw or can do very contrary. Incidentally, boys are lagging behind girls for about two years in their brain development, especially during the first years of puberty. Their physical growth spurt also begins somewhat later. Because the physical growth process continues a little longer, boys are on average larger than girls.
The adolescent brain
Once in high school, it often goes much faster with the changes. Parents are excluded; friends and girlfriends suddenly become much more important. From now on, adolescents want to determine what they do and do. They will set off against their parents, against the school and against society. The bond with the parents has to suffer more than once. Either because adolescents withdraw into their own world, or because they discuss everything with their parents and try to stretch or even exceed the boundaries. In this period the adolescent brain is subject to all kinds of changes, although not all parts of the brain develop equally quickly. The prefrontal cortex remains significantly under development until the 16th - 17th years of life. It is precisely this part of the brain that is involved in cognitive and emotional functions such as making decisions, planning, social behavior and impulse control. And it is precisely in this period that young people come into contact more and more with all kinds of possible dangers and difficult situations. It is therefore the parent's task to function as a 'prefrontal cortex' in these years and to slow down and adjust their children where necessary. Adolescents need these borders. They are still too young to remain in their new school environment and need the support and guidance of their mentor and teachers, but also of the parents.
Safe home port
The secondary school brings with it more and other requirements. Children are thrown into the deep, as it were; suddenly they are on their own. A safe home base with parents who encourage and support them gives them the confidence to enter the wide world, knowing that their parents will be there for them when needed. Nevertheless, many adolescents feel that no one understands them. They feel lonely. Parents can try to take away this loneliness by talking a lot with their children and trying to understand them, no matter how difficult it sometimes is. Keep an eye on the development of the adolescent during the school period. Pay attention to aspects such as fear of failure or depression. All adolescents sometimes feel more sombre, but if this continues for a longer period of time, then call the bell and seek help. And again; stay in conversation with your child. After all, parents used to be teenagers, and they often get more than teenagers think, even though they sometimes have a different opinion.
Information for young people
When you enter puberty, your body changes from the outside and inside. Questions like, what happens to your body in puberty, why do you suddenly feel so different, what do you have to do with those butterflies in your stomach and how do you get to know what you really want, are discussed in the pubs guides of Rutgers WPF . These guides are specially designed for boys and girls and provide practical information about puberty. With many tips and answers to pressing questions. The folders are playful and colorfully designed with lots of illustrations and useful tips and links to books and websites.
Related download (s):
Pubergids (BO): what you want to know as a boy about puberty (//www.hexspoorwms.nl/library/34/uploads/files/pubergids_(bo)_wat_je_als_jongen_wilt_weten_over_de_puberteit.pdf)
Pubergids (BO): what you want to know as a girl about puberty (//www.hexspoorwms.nl/library/34/uploads/files/pubergids_(bo)_wat_je_als_meisje_wilt_weten_over_de_puberteit.pdf)
The child's telephone
De Kindertelefoon is an organization with a large group of volunteers who find it important that there is a place where children and young people can talk in confidence about a problem and where they can receive advice, information and support. The volunteers work at different places in the Netherlands from behind the phone or chat or as moderator of the forum. Are you bullied, do you have problems at home, quarrel with your friends or feel bad, then you can take a look at the website or the forum of the Kindertelefoon. Perhaps you can find an answer there. If this does not work or if you would like to speak to a volunteer from De Kindertelefoon, you can do so via the chat button on the website or via tel .: 0800-0432 (free). Chatting and calling is possible from Monday to Friday from 11 am to 8 am and on weekends and holidays from 2 pm to 8 pm. Moreover, the Kindertelefoon is completely anonymous. The volunteers of De Kindertelefoon will not come to you and will never just contact you. You're the one calling or that chat.
What's up with that?
Are you a young person with questions about puberty? Take a look at Hoezitdat.info, the youth website of the Centers for Youth and Family in the South Holland North region. The municipalities in this region work together with the core partners of the Centers for Youth and Family for this website. Young people can ask questions via chat, but also contact them in other ways. Young people find answers to important questions about studying, money and health, but also about sex, drugs and much more ... Maybe you want to talk to someone because you're not feeling well; quarrel with your parents; very shy; have debts; being bullied; or simply because you do not know who you can tell your story about. This is possible during the chat time. Via the chat button on www.Hoezitdat.info you can ask questions anonymously or free of charge or tell your story.