Cry baby - How can you deal with this?
As soon as you have given birth, everyone is anxiously waiting for the first heart cry of your little one. When your baby is crouching well everyone is relieved to breath, approving mumbles and congratulations! When your baby still cries after six weeks, you have a different story.
The crying goes through marrow and leg and is to go mad: the doubt, the tension, that eternal knot in your stomach, that feeling like all your nerve endings are exposed ... What a wonderful time should be suddenly turns out to be a hell.
Although the term crying baby has a nasty sound and possibly puts a label on your child, we have chosen to use this name because of the recognition. The term irritable babies also useful, but less known. A crying baby is defined on the basis of these criteria:
- your baby cries for at least three weeks, more than three days a week, three hours a day
- your baby cries without any apparent cause: diaper, food, discomfort, pain, illness, et cetera
When your baby cries so much for no apparent reason, an untenable situation arises that is very stressful for both you and your child. You've probably tried everything to comfort your baby: rock, kiss, kiss, kangaroo, sing, cry, walk away, take you ... nothing helps. The desperation strikes and before you know it you're in a vicious circle: your child cries incessantly, you get stressed, your child cries more ...
Features crying baby
Crying babies are generally very active, some troubled, over-moving, frightened and fast-paced babies. An irritable baby will get tired faster, which will make him sleep worse, cry more and become even more tired, even here you see a vicious circle.
The crying of these babies is different than the usual whining because of a wet diaper ... The crying is intense, penetrating, almost upset. The babies are restless or move violently, and the only thing that helps is physical contact with the parent / caregiver. As soon as you take your child with you, it will slow down, but when you put it back in its bed or playpen, intense crying starts again.
Crying babies may also tend to overstretch; often they have a preferred posture in bed. It is possible that your baby has a blockage in his neck / neck area to a greater or lesser extent due to birth.
Cause: stimulation and attachment
In addition to a physical cause such as illness, discomfort or KISS, over-excitement can be the cause of the extreme cry of these children. When a baby becomes tired, it closes naturally for all the impressions around him; sometimes even noticeable by literally turning away the head and breaking the contact.
Crying babies can not close and all impressions come in unfiltered: sounds, smells, movement, impressions, contact ... everything. Overexcitation is the result and only with crying can your baby indicate that he does not feel comfortable. Your presence - your scent, your voice, your heartbeat, your warmth - are a comfort. A baby benefits from safe attachment. However, when you are tired of fatigue, you are completely stressed and / or over-stimulated, your child will feel this sharp and he will again be irritable and inconsolable. When no breakthrough seems possible in the endless cycle of crying-comforting-not sleeping, crying-comforting-not sleeping, what do you have to think of?
What is wrong?
That question constantly gnaws: 'What is the problem with my little baby now?', 'Our child has something, but what ?!' and 'We do everything for him and yet he is inconsolable ...'
It is crazy to be: the doubt, the tension, that eternal knot in your stomach, it feels like all your nerve endings are exposed. Trolling around and running up and down seems the only thing that helps, it is a war of attrition for you and your child. Babymassage or a relaxing bath normally have a calming effect on babies, but these children are counterproductive: it gives too much stimulation.
Remember that your baby is already a very personal person with his own temperament, character and the ability to process information or not (stimuli). In addition, there are many physical causes for intense, long-term crying behavior such as: colic (unripe intestines), growth retardation and / or preterm birth, reflux (feeding back and / or spitting), a disease or disorder, a disturbance in motor skills, motor unrest, food allergy, et cetera.
What can you do?
Do not disturb all the well-meant advice from your area. Let your heart speak and follow your own feelings. Safe bonding is paramount: give your child the time, attention and comfort as long as you feel you can bring this up. When you feel that you are so annoyed or tired that your consolation is counterproductive, spend your child a day (part) on your partner, grandmother or a good friend. Use that time to sleep, de-stress, do something for yourself ... and especially to refuel! When this period takes longer, structurally plan time for yourself. It is also important that you provide comfort to your child, encourage a secure bonding and that you create peace and regularity for your child. Adhere to a fixed sequence in your actions: feeding, changing, contact, cuddling and 'playing' until your baby gets tired and then try to let him sleep in his own bed. This way he learns what will happen and what he can expect.
When your child cries a lot, long and intensely, it is advisable to discuss this with your general practitioner and / or clinic doctor. Swaddling can provide a solution for troubled babies and a good advice from a nutritionist is indispensable for nutritional problems such as colic, allergy, intolerance, et cetera. If you are at your wit's end, tired and simply can not continue, do not hesitate to call for help. There are various agencies and methods that can help and support you and your child during this grueling period.
- visit GP: exclude a condition, possibly referral specialist
- the consultation office: possibly with video home training
- a visit to osteopath, chiropractor or manual therapist (KISS / KID)
- in case of nutritional problems: consultation with nutritionist
- psychological support and / or behavioral change in parents
The problem surrounding crying babies is complex, sensitive and scientifically far from being 'figured out'. We therefore refer to the following specific websites for more explanation:
Better wearing by a wearing consultant
As a parent you wear something. It is so obvious. The first moments, proud with your child in your arm, to show it to the grandparents, and to feed. Lift up your child and carry it with you to comfort it and show it to the world around it. It up and down the stairs, the car in and out. Bring your toddler on your arm or shoulders to friends in the neighborhood, or with a quick message.
Wearing is nice and practical. Also with toddlers and toddlers. But sometimes it does not work anymore. Because it will hurt, even if you use a special child carrier. Is it up to you, to the child carrier? Time to turn on a support consultant if you want to keep wearing painlessly!