I have been a mother for almost 6 years now. A long time and yet for a while, because I can still remember as the day of yesterday that for the first time I became a mother and our little fellow kept close to me. When I was sixteen I screamed from the rooftops that I absolutely did not want any children, and less than ten years later, I suddenly had a newborn baby on my chest. I had no idea what to expect and it was quite a landslide, a baby in the house.
When are you going to comfort?
As good and as bad as it went, we made something of it with our son. What works with which cry? When are you going to comfort and when not? How do you find a rhythm? And can you also deviate from that? How do you come to yourself or your relationship? In short: looking for a kind of balance in this overwhelming 'being a mother'.
Bit by bit we found that balance, although I would have liked to know a few things that I know now. An example of something that I would have liked to know was the existence of slings. That had caused me a lot of struggles with the pram, living in a flat without a lift.
A month or 8
When our son was about 8 months old, I discovered the existence of the baby carrier. I bought a carrier from Tula before we went on vacation; not too expensive and it met my needs. On the first family holiday we discovered the ease of carrying a small child. Son easily fell asleep in the baby carrier and we could make walks on terrain that would have been a lot less passable with a pram.
Less than two years after the birth of our son, I gave birth to a healthy daughter. I did not feel the transition from one to one child, but the transition from one to two children was allowed! And this girl soon turned out to have a spicy character. In the first few months she cried a lot and we did not know what to do with her now and then. But by now I had been better initiated into the world of mothers and I had discovered a stretchy sling. First you wrap this cloth tightly around your body (with a little help from YouTube) and then you put your child in it. It worked perfectly on the awkward moments when our daughter cried and did not manage to sleep in her bed. In the sling she could sleep nicely against me and I had my hands free to bake cookies with our son, who had become a big toddler by now.
Another two years later I was pregnant with child number three. Already during the pregnancy I started to look more deeply into carrying babies in a sling. I discovered that the stretchy sling that I already had, especially in the beginning is suitable, but no longer when your child is a bit bigger. It becomes heavier for the wearer and sinks quickly downwards, so you have to tie again sooner. And so the woven sling came on my path. A cloth with more power to tie your child to you; you have to knot and hold your child at the same time. A pretty challenging! I did not immediately buy a cloth like that, but I kept it in my mind. It might be practical, with a toddler and a toddler in the house who would also like their attention if the baby was born by now.
Two weeks after I gave birth to our son, he started to cry and he would not stop doing that in the first few months (okay, there were times when he did not cry, but the crying prevailed). Pretty soon I decided to buy a woven wrap and to make myself the easiest knot, the Front Wrap Cross Carry (FWCC). Later I learned other ways of knotting and even managed to tie our son to my back. And now I can say: I advise every mother to give it a try, especially if your baby is crying a lot. I also know that it is not the solution for everything, but for our son it worked very well on many occasions (apart from the reflux medication he received and the special diet). He spent hours sleeping with his heart against mine.
Besides that I enjoyed it, I sometimes cursed, because how do you go with a child on your stomach to the toilet? And can I also have time for myself? But it has certainly been worth the investment. Because our son loved it so much and could hardly sleep in his bed, I bought a nice cloth and later I made a beautiful African wrap, of fabric that I bought online. I learned from an African woman how to wear torso, as only Africans can and noticed that this was ideal if our son was miserable and I still wanted to do some chores. With a torso cloth you can tie your baby on your back and the strips of the cloth do not go over your shoulders, but only under your armpits through the front, where you fold them together. In this way our little one could sleep well for a while, for example when I was cooking.
Also the older children
And so I became more and more known in the world of supporting mothers and I tried more and more ways of knotting. Even the older children I sometimes knotted on my back, because they were a bit jealous of their younger brother who received so much attention from mom. What I can definitely recommend is a consultation from a support consultant, who can help you to secure your child in a sling in a safe way. At a consultant you can often try out several cloths and buttons and that is definitely worth it!
Meanwhile, our youngest son is more than 1 year old and not much more is worn. Ah, what are they getting big ...
I have worn you a lot
Very close to me
I hope that gives confidence
And power in your existence
With a lot of dedication and love
I tied you to me again and again
With the wish that you stayed safe there
No one affected
You are getting bigger now
And it sometimes hurts
That you think you are too big
To be so close to me