Since your girlfriend proudly showed you the positive pregnancy test, you are doing something out of you. Of course you are happy and you look forward to your child, but it also makes you somewhat insecure. What are you waiting for? What does your role as a father look like? Does your social life stop immediately after birth?
That a lot is going to change is clear, but 'different' does not have to mean 'worse'. Otherwise, it is just different. There is a new role for you and then also a very nice one: You become father!
Actually 'role' is a bit crazy, just as if you had to perform a play. Nothing is of course true, because fatherhood is not a play. After all, your child is dependent on you. He needs you. Both.
In the course of time the role of fathers has changed, many fathers want to fully experience parenting and not watch from the sidelines. Actively help with the care and upbringing. You will notice, however, that you sometimes run up against myths, which are no longer in force at all, but because they have been kept for so long, yet occasionally crop up.
Fathers can not take care of a baby
Of course complete nonsense, because why would not fathers be able to do this? Fathers may be different from mothers, but there is nothing wrong with that. Did you know that research has shown that children with involved fathers do better at school and have more confidence? That says something. In the past it was not or hardly possible for fathers to be directly involved in the care. We had to work, the man was responsible for the money. Fortunately, that is now obsolete. Fathers now have the opportunity to do it differently. Combine work and care with each other. And they do it well too!
The feeling of the mothers is more important
Bullshit! Yes, the woman is carrying your child for nine months and her body is changing in those months, but that does not make her feeling any more important than the father's feeling. There is also a lot of change for fathers and also during the pregnancy there will be more often an appeal to him. It is also not surprising when fathers also suffer from stress, anxiety and uncertainties. Of course there must also be room for that. Talking about this together will only make your relationship stronger. By being honest and open, you become a committed father.
Fathers no longer have a social life
That it will be different, that is certain, but that does not mean that you can not have a social life anymore. In the beginning it may take some time to look at how you can plan everything practically, but it is certainly not possible. Okay, you have a child that you have to take into account, but together with your partner you can undoubtedly make good agreements about it, so that you can still go to your favorite sports club or go out for a walk.
Fathers no longer have sex life
So right after the delivery, this is certainly a fact. The body of the new mother needs time to recover. In addition, a completely new period for you has arrived and a lot of time will go to the baby. In addition to taking care of your baby, you also need time to get used to this completely new situation. Such a new situation is quite tiring for a while, just think of the short nights. But you also get used to this. The body of the mother will recover and eventually you will find the rhythm in the care of your child. Then there is time again to enjoy each other.
Perhaps you sometimes have to deal with it in a more creative way, or together make time for it. But there is nothing wrong with that. It is (and remains) what you make of it yourself.
Fathers are clumsy
Oh yeah? Well no, but here of course applies: The more often you do it, the more convenient you become! The more time you spend with your child, the easier it will be. Remember that it is just as unknown to the mother as it is to the father. Everyone is a bit uncertain in the beginning. Fortunately, you have a maternity assistant for the first time, who can show you around. She is not only there for the mother, but also for the father.
Enjoy this new role. How beautiful is it to be able to guide such a small person to an independent adult. You do not have to be like your own father, you can just be the father that suits you. Look around you, trade out, talk to friends. You do not have to be the perfect father, you will see that in the course of time you will continue to grow in the role of father.