Many parents have a darling when it comes to their children. I came across a news item about a woman who openly stated that one of her children was her favorite. She did not lie to her children either, and she admitted it honestly.
Admitting is taboo
People are then very angry about it apparently. Just admitting is taboo. Why actually?
Children often feel that there is a darling, no matter how hard the parents deny it. The child may not whine, is denied in his feelings. Why should not you be honest, as long as you do not give up the other child and also love it very much? Having a darling does not mean that you love the one more than the other.
Do I also have a darling?
Do I also have a darling? I often asked myself that question, but I'm glad that the answer is 'no'. My two children are totally different and they both have qualities that I like and that I do not like. I am also honest with them about that.
Viany is very calm and has a great sense of responsibility. That is very pleasant to deal with. You do not have to expect crazy things. When Viany was small and I was busy in the house to do the laundry or whatever and I put it on a chair, she was sitting exactly in the same place when I returned, unmoved. That was pretty nice.
Fingers in the socket
When Neline was big enough to move herself and I had to go to the toilet once, I suddenly heard Viany panicking:
"MAM, MAM Neline is not allowed to put her fingers in the socket? Then she will die? "
I did not know how fast I had to get off the toilet. All our outlets had always been neatly covered, but the sticker had come off from that one high. Neline had grabbed a chair and had climbed on it and wanted to see that outlet from close up.
That is typical Neline, naughty, but also dangerous!
Enterprising and spicy
Neline is an enterprising and spirited aunt and I also like that again. Viany is often a bit passive and Neline does everything. I find it wonderful that she thinks of everything and also executes, but there is also a downside, because you have to keep a close eye on her. Her ideas are not always that great.
Viany often does not have these wild ideas, but they can be very passive again and that is the disadvantage. That is occasionally pulling a dead horse.
With Neline you can laugh and you can build on Viany, that is serious. Well what does a mother want more? They both have things that I like and that I do not like. I do not have a real favorite.
It seems that having a favorite can also change over the years. Periods that it clicks better with the one than with the other.
Also seems logical to me and I recognize that. Sometimes the one is nasty and walks with the other from a smooth roof and vice versa. Then you automatically go more to the ones that are better at that moment.
Children do feel it anyway
Is it strange? Do not think so, it seems to me human. Can not it be said? Why not? Children do feel it anyway. By lying about it you deny their feelings and let them doubt themselves. As long as you do not do anything wrong to the other child, I do not see any harm in being honest, because you tend to be more dependent on one child than the other and that you also make it clear that you love them as much as you do. It has apparently become an unwritten rule that you lie about it and are not honest with your children. If you do not stick to that rule, then you can be 'killed' by society apparently.
Do not complain
We live in a foreign world. Lying beyond being honest and then also figuratively finishing people who would rather be honest and do not deny the feelings of their children and dismiss them as nagging.
"No, I do not have a darling, you should not think that, you should not nag like that."
While they are right? I think that you are damaging a child more than you are honest and are talking very well about it and also the things you like about that other child again emphasized and emphasized that you love that child just as well and why that is and asks why the child feels like it.
"Why do you think I like your little sister or favor?"
Often something is behind that dissatisfied feeling. Something where a good conversation can work wonders.