Preschool infatuation

Toddler infatuation - A new emotion ...
"I'm going to marry daddy" and "I'm on Miss Marije", his statements from preschoolers who have feelings of love. Preschoolers can fall in love with their boyfriend, girlfriend, teacher, babysitter or parent. How can you best deal with this?

Dealing with a new emotion

Preschoolers have the same emotions as older children or adults, but do not yet master as many skills to express themselves. That way they can be in love, but in a way that suits their age. For the child himself, these emotions are very important and far-reaching.
From the fourth year of life your child will have to deal with infancy. That will probably start with a special friendship to which the environment gives the label in love. Your child can get pretty upset by this. At the stage when children first fall in love, they also become aware of the opinions of others about themselves for the first time. The chance of being rejected brings with it uncertainty and that feels good to your child, no matter how young it is.

Nursery infatuation - How do you deal with it?

You do not learn to be in love. It happens to you. But children must learn how to deal with these feelings (happy, frightened, sad), respect each other, stand up for your opinion and empathize with the feelings of someone else. Children often learn at home and from their parents.
If you notice that your child is in love, take it seriously and try to discuss it. Not every child will want to talk about it. Try to be open to the fact that your child has to deal with new feelings and does not always know how he or she should deal with this. For the social development of the child, experimenting with friendship and relationships can be very good. One child from his infatuation embarrassed, the other in bold behavior. It is best to leave this for some time, so that your child learns that it does not always go with this shy or tough behavior.
Books like Robin is in love, Bear is on butterfly, The first time in love or Frog is in love with falling in love with young children and can help to make the subject discussable.


In toddlers, there is no association with sexuality and often no association with intimacy. For a toddler, being in love is often no more than playing together. Holding things like hands, cuddling and giving kisses is something that toddlers often do not do on their own, but after encouragement from the environment.
Oddly enough, not all preschool children are always equally nice to the child they are in love with. Slowly as the child grows older, the child learns the social rules of friendship and learn that when you are friends you take account of each other, are nice to each other and share things.

Social standards

Until about 7 years, children can have "loving" feelings for someone, without a preference for gender or age. For example, you often hear preschoolers saying that they are in love with the teacher, or their father or mother, or a friend or boyfriend of the same sex. A toddler is also not aware of social or social standards in his or her infatuation as far as infatuation is concerned. A toddler can find a lot of people special and therefore fall in love with these people. Only when the child grows older does the child learn what belongs and does not belong with regard to being in love and friendship.

Can a child also have a heartbreak?

Your child can be really sad when a courtship starts or the love comes from one side only. Do not diminish those feelings, but talk about them. For example, start the conversation with: "I understand that you would prefer that you still had courtship with Bas." Give your child the space to tell what made Bas so special. In this way your child becomes aware of all the nice and special features of Bas and also of her own. For example, it becomes clear that Bas loves footballs very much and your daughter does not. Through such a conversation your child not only feels supported, but also learns more about himself and that reinforces self-confidence. Agreements just make the friendship or courtship. If you differ too much from each other, the courtship ends.
With this disappointment your child can get involved and is part of the learning process within social-emotional development. Be prepared for it as a parent, so that you can receive your child in the right way.

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