You can plan every day of everything, but despite the best will of the world, you run the next day to fete and scream - you break your neck on loose swinging toys, your toddler son is his baby sister on her head stallions and your eldest throws a cup of milk to ...
DOES IT NEVER GO NORMAL HERE? Max stay away from Sanne! Dilan think about what you do and quickly grab a cloth! And Max, how often do I have to say that you clean up your Lego after playing? " you shout angrily.
You grab your painful foot and look at your three miserable children. Foei, bad mom!
The education begins
As long as your baby still has limited freedom of movement and gives little rebuttal, everything goes perfectly. Of course, the baby time has its problems, but these are not of an educational nature yet. It only becomes difficult when your toddler always messes up the kitchen cabinets and learns to say 'no': the upbringing starts.
And upbringing is a tough, confrontational task. The image that you had of yourself as a supermarmer crumbled slowly and suddenly it turns out that you too are only human. You shoot once out of your sheaf, you get frustrated, maybe even a tick ...
Sadly you find that sometimes you do not like your child, while in the past it was such a sweetheart. Nothing is more like what you expected of it - your image as a nice mother no longer at all - and the feeling of guilt was born.
Does the perfect mother want to get up now?
Through the media we are overloaded with the ideal image of the perfect mother: in magazines, on TV, in commercials and via the internet. Wherever you look, everything looks slick: the woman, the child, the house and even the partner are in perfect order. So, oh woe, if you do not bake cookies on Wednesday afternoon or just dare to take a day in dirty trousers with a slogan sweater!
'It is an illusion that we get presented and beautifully put together for a single snapshot in that magazine,' says Janine Jongsma - baby welfare therapist and coach of parents including crying babies. 'It is stupid, but we are there to reflect women and mothers on us ... Being perfect on all fronts is impossible! And yet all mothers try to bring about the "impossible" every day. "
You are perfect!
But mama, listen: you are perfectly exactly exactly the way you are now. Because you are the mother of your child and you have the best for him. And how you fill that in your situation is entirely your choice.
So with the question "Do the perfect mother want to get up now?", We stand together unanimously!
Modern mothers are self-conscious and not an entertainment mom. But these 'enlightened' generation mothers also have a downside ... In our current society we are used to speed, direct satisfaction and progress.
Everything is to hand, preferably at the touch of a button: from a preprogrammed espresso machine to an online adoption child - no older than 14 days, please!
The modern mother is self-conscious in life. She was raised with the image that 'a smart girl is prepared for her future'. She goes to study and work, finds a nice partner, buys a nice house, has nice friends, hobbies and activities. And after a while the children want to look around ...
In the 1960s, children were still a goal in life; afterwards, children became an addition to the woman's life and upbringing took on a different character. Mothers are no longer entirely at the service of their child - they are not entertainment mom - and they are conscious in life, make their choices carefully and say 'no' much more easily.
Mom is okay
Raising children is not a life goal anymore, but it remains a tough task. It is accompanied by trying, doubt, guilt, triumphs and frustration: "Am I doing well?", "Surprised, it works!", "Why is she succeeding and not me?"
The manuals are reviewed, TV programs are seriously watched and experts are asked for help. After all, every parent is insecure and who knows his weaknesses is strong! But uncertainty promotes perfection ... so make sure you reflect on the ideal image in the media. What is more important, that is your self-image: you want the best for your child, you determine the course and you do your best.
For a good start in 2008 we say it once out loud: 'Mama is totally okay!'