Preparing your child for the arrival of a baby: how do you distribute attention?

Congratulations, you are pregnant with your second child! A beautiful and exciting period starts. And not just for you: this is something very special for your first shoot. Not all children react the same when they hear that they have a brother or sister. For example, some children may suffer from jealous feelings. Similarly the daughter of Carlijn (32). "My three-year-old daughter turned into a little dragon when she heard that she had a brother."

Jealous dragon

Carlijn (32) says: "My eldest was three, almost four, when we told her the news that she would have a little brother. In the beginning she reacted very enthusiastically. But that quickly changed. When the baby room was finished and my daughter was often confronted with things for the baby, I think it was very tangible for her. Then it actually started. She reacted more and more dismissively to her unborn brother. "

Such behavior is not uncommon in small children. As the pregnancy progresses, you and your partner are more and more busy with the arrival of your little one. The baby room is painted, walled and decorated. You buy a few nice rompers and socks and prepare you more actively for the delivery. This does not escape your firstborn. The feeling can come to him that he is no longer so important to you. That the baby bumps him off his throne, as it were.

Let your oldest child help

You can do this somewhat by actively involving your oldest child in the pregnancy. For example, read a book together about getting a brother or sister. "The Great Reading Book for brothers and sisters" lends itself perfectly for this. It is full of verses, stories and drawings about getting a brother or sister. Also 'What's in your stomach, Mom?' Is a fun and educational booklet on this subject.

You can also involve your elder in the preparations for the arrival of the baby. For example, select a few nice colors for the baby room and let him choose a color. Or go to the baby shop together and let him choose a teat, romper or bottle for the little brother or sister that is on the way. In this way you give your oldest child a sense of responsibility and emphasize that he still matters: he can help with making important decisions.

Of course that is no guarantee that your child does not develop feelings of jealousy. That can still happen and is also quite normal. Show understanding for this kind of feelings and emphasize every now and then that your child is really very important to you and that you really love him very much.

And when the baby is there?

The son of Mirjam (38) only became jealous when the baby was born. Miriam says: "During my pregnancy, my eldest son did not suffer from jealousy at all. He was really looking forward to his little brother. But once the baby was born, my eldest felt enormously disadvantaged. He felt that he was no longer important to me and his father. That only the baby still mattered. We solved this by involving him more in the care of his little brother. He was allowed to help him in the bath by, for example, washing his hair. Or if he chose the one that he got afterwards. "

Mirjam actively involved her eldest child in the care of the baby after delivery. That is a great way to teach your child how to deal with his new brother or sister. It is also important to regularly quality time to book to do something fun with your oldest child. When your partner is busy with the baby, you have time to go to the playground with your child, read a book or tinker together. In this way he does not get the feeling to lose his mother to his younger brother or sister and you create a beautiful harmony within your family.

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