"Should I have your telephone number, can I contact you by telephone?", I see in my screen. My skin color turns red, very red. I searched for a word that I could put in front of red to make it really good that it was super red. But there is no word in me so I try to make it clear to you. Very red. Are they really going to contact me and will I really do what I have given up for?
Good in words
I am good at words. I am now ready to write that. I enjoy every hour I write and that is why I have said to myself or almost swore not to go vlogging. No, I like my writing qualities. Okay and you may well know that I am a schijterd. A schijterd who is afraid to show himself on a moving image. Still picture still succeeds, because of the 27 pictures taken there is usually 1 between which I find acceptable.
At the time of writing, I just had a reaction from an editor of a TV program. I must have sent my application in a fit of bewilderment, that is no different. What was I thinking, really?
Admittedly I am quite proud that this quiet, modest, girl of two years ago has taken the step to believe in herself and to go for what she wants to achieve. At the same time I have seven colors in my underwear when I think of standing alone in front of a camera! Three years ago I was in the audience of All you need is love to call up a trainee not to be mentioned by Robert ten Brink. I would not even play the leading role in this scene myself, but believe me. My swallows have made their appearance that evening. Can you tell me how I feel when the camera is really focused on me and I also have to answer questions the other Anita asks me.
Just be honest
Hopefully my strength will help me again. Just be honest and tell what comes to mind. I bet that I have the first question that I have epilepsy, while this TV program is about BN'ers and doctors fighting each other and diagnosing which disease the patient has among the members. I'll say: "Hello, I am also Anita and I have epilepsy". But who knows, it is not that far and they have found another epileptic that transpires less.
All in all, I came to my mission this day. I want to confront people who have far-reaching consequences for a disease and in my case epilepsy for family life. I want to tell my sick fellow man that happiness and sadness may coexist. If you let that thought come to you, I hope that you experience the peace that the grief may be around your diagnosis and consequences. At the same time I want to let you know that you can also let the moments of happiness come in and that this may continue to exist in peace alongside grief.
I just turn on the television and just inspect how Tom Kirkman releases it on Netflix. Nice to see how he prepares his appearance and reads his texts from the autocue. I now enjoy a nice glass of red wine. Red, dark red, very red, super red. Well, you know what red I mean.