Is this all right?
Recently I know what bother me. It even has a name: the thirties dilemma. A good friend told me that. Just, on a sunny afternoon with me in the garden, with a cup of green tea. That friend has studied psychology for a few blue Mondays, so she understands.
"Almost all thirties struggle with it," she explains. "That eternal existential is-this-well-everything question. The idea that you have failed has not performed enough. Not good enough. "
It must be faster, hipper, more innovative
I nod my head comprehensively and accept the diagnosis. Because yes, I recognize myself a bit in that. My peers sometimes only start children now. First they have built up a dike of a career, made a world trip, bought a house and met the love of their lives. All this in high definition on Instagram for their hundreds of followers.
And that's what I get: the late bloomer. Countless studies and courses followed, half not finished. I have a job, but somewhere else there is an even nicer, better and more satisfying job waiting for me, so I hunt it up. Because it has to be faster, hipper, more innovative. My LinkedIn profile should be just as glorious as it is with all those other, well-turned in their thirties. So follow another marketing course between the companies. As a result, I do not even have time for love. And by the way, not to post something on Instagram every day.
The bright light
One aspect of the thirties dilemma is fortunately spared me: the well-or-no-kids problem. I already have a child. And he has succeeded very well, so as far as I am concerned, it stays with this one. No really. My ten-year-old son does have one shout out earned. Because between all those dilemmas, choice stress and doubts, he is the shining bright spot: the proof of my best achievement ever. No, it is not possible on my LinkedIn profile, but raising a child is surely a competence of planetary dimensions.
In addition, my personal development may grow even more by parenting than by any hip course or training whatsoever. Because I learn so much from my son and the sober way in which he views the world. Sometimes he suddenly puts me back on the earth with my feet through the clever and funny statements he makes. There is no thirties dilemma at such moments. No choice stress. No am-I-well-enough-feeling. Then there is only that overpowering sense of pride that every parent who reads this can imagine so vividly.
And perhaps there is also the solution for that whole thirties dilemma. Let's look at what we have achieved. Because we parents are actually only super people. Mothers create a completely new human in their womb in just 9 months. We raise our children full of love and affection to competent, happy adults. For that we make the necessary sacrifices. Parenting is a task for which you really have to be a loyal team player without a 9-to-5 mentality. But we never complain, because we like to do it. We are parents full of surrender. And no flashy job, Instagram or a glorious LinkedIn profile change.