Mother's Day, also for invisible mothers # blog18

It is almost Mother's Day again. For some a nice day to be put in the sun or a nice opportunity to spoil their mother. For others a sad day because they may have lost their mother or are unwelcome childless ...

I think back to Mother's Day 2003. A few months before I had given birth to the most beautiful child in the world. My first son. He only had two days with us before we had to let him go back. As an angel. My first 'Mother's Day' was something I had imagined, but the reality was that my baby was no longer with us. I received some 'well-meaning' reactions, such as: 'You will also be able to celebrate Mother's Day ...' I did not understand them because I had become a mother after all? That my child was no longer tangible with us did not make me less mother. Mother you become during pregnancy, when your child grows in you. Tangible close after birth, but the mother in you, arises so much earlier than at birth.

The comments, however good they were meant, hurt me. It felt like my son's denial. But my son had indeed existed! He had lived in me for seven months and two days outside of me. I had loved him, longed for him and cared for him. I was his mother. Nobody could deny that.
On that conscious Mother's Day I got a beautiful rose bush, in the name of my son. The rose is still in my garden and gives the most beautiful flowers every year.

Meanwhile, we are years later and I am the mother of a good adolescent. Rocco has tried every year to make a Mother's Day craft for me, encouraged by the teachers at primary school, but usually I got his craft "as a kit". He is not very fond of tinkering. Nevertheless, I have kept all his efforts neatly. After all, he had done his best and that's what it's about. And kit or not, I found them all equally beautiful.

Mother's Day again has a double load this year. I do not have a mother since last November. At least, not tangibly more close. She is now with her first grandson, somewhere in the land of angels. She is now just as pampering and mothering her grandson as she did here on earth with Rocco.
After all, you are always a mother. Even beyond the limits of death ...

Where is pain
are her hands
and from her heart
she looks at you

With her love can
they surround you
and with her care
she takes care of you faithfully

Her soft kisses
have super strength
all fear and pain
disappear quickly

and her voice is
almost magical
when she says
'I love you!'

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