Every parent knows it and every parent recognizes it. To do shopping with a child who has not slept, is hungry, or has simply set his sights on a box of biscuits from Dora (which the staff has expertly displayed at eye level of that little one).
Even tough dads can not escape the hell that the groceries are called. Besides shopping, changing conversations between schoolyard mothers and spray diapers, shopping (with children) is high in my top five of 'shoot me' activities. Then I would rather put Badr Hari in a boxing ring or something.
I am forced to leave the Appie for the messages in good spirits. My wife is not there, so I am condemned to this task, together with my little boy.
'If you listen to Papa you can choose a dessert' I promise him.
At that moment we had a deal, at least that's what I thought.
The moment I walked in and looked at the prices of the potatoes for a few seconds, the shit started. Child away.
Sighing I navigated along the aisles until I saw him kneeling in the biscuit department. As if hypnotized, he stared at rows of biscuits packaged according to a brilliant marketing strategy.
A "ask Dad if you can do this" strategy.
You pay for the packaging
I curse the people who made it up. And you also pay for the packaging! Where a normal biscuit has normal prices, you pay double for a biscuit in the form of Dora. Terrible.
Do you want a dessert tonight? Quiet then!
'No, come to see the desserts' was my first answer.
He then crossed his arms demonstratively.
It has begun…
That vibrating upper lip was the first sign that a volcano erupted. A volcano that could only be stopped by Dora.
"I want that," he repeated, pointing at the box of cookies with a trembling index finger.
"No, come, we go to the desserts," I repeated, gently shaking him away from the cookies.
A tear drop was the result, combined with a decibel of shrieking that causes more hearing damage than a Rammstein concert.
I then put him in the shopping cart, persevering, and drove him around the store as if he were an air alarm.
After ten minutes I was fed up.
Actually those Dora biscuits are quite tasty.